Guidelines for India?
As most of you know, I was born and raised here in the U.S. I’d like to think that I’ve got a good mix of “East and West” in myself but after reading rules like this, I think I may get into trouble when I head back to India.
Men should never touch women in public, even to help a woman out of a car, unless the lady is very elderly or infirm In Indian culture… men socialise with men, and women with women Married couples in Asia do not hug, hold hands or kiss in public. Even embracing at airports and train stations is considered out of the question Generally it is improper for women to speak with strangers on the street and especially to strike up a casual conversation Drinking alcohol or smoking in public, no matter how innocent, are interpreted as a sign of moral laxity and are not acceptable.
For anyone else that has been to India at any point, what the F is up with the “holding hands” rule? Uhhh, I distinctly recall almost every boy in New Delhi holding hands with some other boy. Why is it OK for same-sex hand-holding to occur? I thought that homosexuals weren’t at the top of the social chain over there.
Anyways, let’s tackle the REAL problem first: boys and girls shouldn’t talk to each other! Go get ‘em guys! While you’re at it, why don’t you spend some time addressing the population problems over there too. How about pollution, corruption or the roadways?
Same sex socialization only? Embracing/PDA out of the question? Damn, I must have gone to all the “modern” shopping centers, taxi stands and restaurants. These rules clearly didn’t apply there. Enough said.
No drinking/smoking in public? Do these rule-writers live in a cave somewhere? I’m done.
I think these rules are way too strongly written. Or maybe I’m just different. Who knows.
Whatever, Sukhi and I are going to have a second wedding reception in India a few months after the wedding. Y’all are coming. You can see India for yourselves. It’s gonna be badass.
Read the full article: Indecency guide for tourists to India.
November 30th, 2005 at 5:32 pm
You’re not different. But you’re taking them too literally, and not understanding the reason behind them.
Drinking alcohol in public is looked down upon in the USA too. See a guy stumbling down the street drunk ? You’ll laugh at him, you’ll think he’s a hobo, and an alcy. This could’ve been the first time he touched alcohol, but you’d think that.
PDA is not tolerated too much here either, sure you can kiss in public, just like men and women can hold hands in public. You won’t get lynched for it, here or in India. You’ll just be stared at more in India. Trust me, I’m married to a woman who looks pretty white.. and well is not Indian. I get stared at by indian women and men constantly, even those who don’t look like FOBs. Imagine it in India. Even for same race couples.. the culture deems affection as something private.. as it should be. If you see a couple making out in the middle of the street it weirds you out, and you stop looking and go on your merry way.. in India, everyone is in your business.
Addressing population issues, corruption or roadways with tourists is a moot excercise, the point of the “do’s and don’ts” is to help tourists from being mistreated, kidnapped, or just plain killed by some very fundamentalist people in that part of town, Rajasthan is pretty close to Pakistan and Gujarat, both areas have been home of the some of the worst religious riots there.. you can appreciate the need to be delicate near people who just need a sign from God.
Same sex hand holding, is the equivalent of two football players slapping each others asses during a game. Everyone knows it’s non-sexual, and is not gay, the homo’s in India are still pretty flamboyant/flaming and can be seen from a mile apart. Those guys are shunned, or made fun of pretty much all the time.. moreso than the eunnuchs.
The rules aren’t rules per se, but guidelines.. there is no law that will get you arrested for anything, except the naked girl. public indecency will get you arrested in the USA as well. If people think of those guidelines as rules, you’ll end up hurting your head. Keep in mind, america has some wierd laws when it comes to sex as well, you can’t have anal sex in texas, and you can’t have sex on a lawn ornament in wyoming, i think in pennsylvania you can’t have sex in your front yard.. back yards are ok. PA also has a town named asslick… go figure.
Lets go for a beer before I leave this traffic jam called VA.
December 1st, 2005 at 1:05 am
I love Vid’s responses he puts alot of time and thought into them. Keep them coming…
December 15th, 2005 at 5:00 pm
Hey Paul,
I ve been visiting your blog for the last couple months or so. This article caught my attention. And as I was about to start writing a long ass comment, I read your friend Vidyut’s comment. I must say he did a good job defending the rules. I was born and brought up there, so I disagree with a lot of em, and also dont agree that people are necessarily hyprocits about it. Its just that to understand the culture you have to live in it and then you will learn how it works. I guess its the same everywhere. I am ready to visit India myself in Jan after 7 yrs of being here. And I am prepard for quite a change myself.
I wish my first comment on your blog would have been on a more positive note. But its ok i guess. Congratulations about your wedding!!
Aakshi
July 25th, 2006 at 2:32 pm
I must admit I was a little surprised by the amount of male hand holding in India on my first trip. It seems strange that these guys feel that they can laugh at homos when in fact they display exactly the same traits (in the male affection department that is). Just goes to show how India is kind of still in the dark ages as far as human rights goes I suppose, as are a lot of other places too I should add. Anyway, there are a lot more problems here than that, like street beggers, extreme poverty, and a serious raw sewage problem on the streets.